I can't believe I'm headed for a straight C semester. I had no idea I was possible of such a low GPA. This is so bad... I feel like shit.

I know, its 5:30 in the morning and I should be doing homework. Wait, this is the first work I've done for classes that hasn't involved a computer in FOUR FUCKING WEEKS. I know, I know, I'm an engineer.

Oh, did I mention that I removed one of the doors from my closet, and the covers to both cieling mounted flourescent lights? Yeah. Via cableties, my monopod, tripod, and 1 cliplamp are now hanging from the flourescent lamps. I need to figure out a decent way to fly the camera bag without stretching the handle...

Mind you, I have the following items flown from the molding that surrounds the ceiling:
2 white boards
2 huge pieces of foam core covered with pictures
2 area rugs to help keep things more quiet (I'm an audiophile, go away)
1 nightstand (a 2 foot long 1x8 plank)
1 shelf (a 5 foot long 1x8 plank)
2 speakers (they're my surrounds)
50 feet of ropelight

I swear to god, by the end of spring semester there will be nothing resting on my floor anymore save dirty clothes. It will all be hanging. Bullshit you say? The molding of my dorm room has supported over 300 pounds before. Don't ask. I could fly MY FUCKING BED if i wanted to. Yeah.

Random philisophical questions:
Is it possible to completely disregard the religous construct in consideration of human nature? That is, can we, even in a quasi-postmodern society objectively examine ourselves while operating outside of the paradigm of good vs. evil? Is this moral dicotomy simply a function of the ethical system forced upon us by western religion? If we tear down the scaffolding of innate psychological predisposition toward certain behavior (mental disease notwithstanding), can we really blame individuals for their actions?
If not, then is the personal environment to blame? Does the demystifcation of conciousness imply that we are utterly described by the laws of physics? What happens to free will? The social contract?

My pretentious vocabulary aside, I'm serious here. What are your thoughts on all of this? How do we, as a society, balance the realties of the fundamental attribution error and the need for some sense of personal responsibility? How can we possibly move forward without coming to grips with ourselves as part of such a massive whole? Are we capable of acending to the highest level of the dialectic, the Communist Utopia, (i.e. Star Trek)? Are we really any better than we were ten millenia ago? Will we really need tens of thousands of years more evolution to move on with our egotistical selves? How long until life is as good as it was when we lived in caves?

We have another convert to techno. Excellent....

So I go to Steak and Shake this evening to spend $11 on a meal and a sorely needed break with my good friend Dave. Conversation covered mostly unextraordinary topics, mostly relating to common ground (women we're crazy about, geek stuff, college life, etc.). I am reminded of how great it is to have a few really awesome friends in the world.


In related news... we get back to Chez Quad at approximately 3:15 am. Dave cleans up his room, and heads over to the trash room to throw a few things away. Dave opens the door, to discover piles of trash. This is unamazing you say. Well, I stopped counting the empty 24 packs of beer at about the 30 mark. Yeah. I was astounded. It was homecoming weekend, go figure. Between a counselor who doesn't have time to exist, and a floor full of drunkards, this made sense.
Such a sight I had never seen before in a Purdue dorm. Judging by the amount of trash left behind, there was about enough alcohol to keep everyone on Dave's floor enebriated for about the whole weekend. Wow.
Dave grabbed pictures just for proof.

Mama they try and break me

The window burns to light the way back home
A light that warms no matter where they go
They're off to find the hero of the day
But what if they should fall by someone's wicked way

Still the window burns
Time so slowly turns
And someone there is sighing
Keepers of the flames
Do you feel your name?
Did you hear your babies crying?

Mama they try and break me
Still they try and break me

Excuse me while I tell them how I feel
These things return to me that still seem real
Now deservingly this easy chair
But the rocking starts by wheels of this pain

Don't want your hate
But the fist I make
For you still hold no fear
No not on me
So please excuse me
while I tell them how I feel

But now the dreams end
And now the dreams end
They everlast the night
So build a wall
Behind it crawl
And hide until it's light

So can you hear your babies crying now?

Still the window burns
Time so slowly turns
And someone there is sighing
Keepers of the flames
Did you hear your names?
Did you hear your babies crying?

So can't you hear your babies crying now?

Mama they try and break me
Mama they try and break me
Mama they try and break me
Mama they try
Mama they try
Mama they try and break me
Mama they try and break me
Mama they try and break me
Mama they try
Mama they try

--Metallica, "Hero of the Day"

See the sun rise over her skin
Don't change it
See the sunrise on her skin
Dawn changes everything

And the delta sun burns bright and violent

Mississippi and the cotton wool heat
Sixty-six a highway speaks
Of deserts dry, of cool green valleys
Gold and silver veins -- of shining cities

In this heartland

In this heart, land, soil
In this heartland
Heaven knows this is our land
Heartland
Heartland

See the sun rise over her skin
She feels like water in my hand
Freeway like a river cuts through this land
Into the side of love, like a burning spear
And the poison rain brings a flood of fear
Through the ghostranch hills,
Death Valley waters
In the towers of steel belief goes on and on

In this heartland
In this heart, land, soil
In this heartland
Heaven knows this is our land
Heartland
Heaven knows this is our land
Heartland
Heaven knows this is our land
Heartland
Heaven's gate, here is our land
Heartland

--U2, "Heartland"

Touch my skin,and tell me what you're thinking
Take my hand and show me where we're going
Lie down next to me, look into my eyes and tell me, oh tell me what you're seeing
So sit on top of the world and tell me how you're feeling
what you feel now is what I feel for you

Take my hand and if I'm lying to you
I'll always be alone
if I'm lying to you
See my eyes, they carry your reflection
Watch my lips and hear the words I'm telling you
Give your trust to me and look into my heart and show me, show me what you're doing
So sit on top of the world and tell me how you're feeling
what you feel now is what I feel for you

Take my hand and if I'm lying to you
I'll always be alone
if I'm lying to you
Take your time, if I'm lying to you
I know you'll find that you believe me
you believe me

Feel the sun on your face and tell me what you're thinking
Catch the snow on your tongue and show me how it tastes
Take my hand and if I'm lying to you
I'll always be alone
if I'm lying to you
Take your time, if I'm lying to you
I know you'll find that you believe me
you believe me

--Dido, "Take My Hand"

Why is it that the majority of my waking hours are spent pushing Perl, C, or VHDL code? Does this strike anyone as abnormal behavior?

Hooray! Divtek vol1 is complete and immortalized on plastic and aluminum. Rejoyce! ;-)

It seems like the only time I ever eat breakfast food anymore is for dinner #2 of the day. It also seems as though this has some correlation with the fact that I'm a senior in ECE and that my body simply doesn't wake up before noon any longer. Funny that.

Oh, did I mention that my CPU works now? Now the whackos running my comp arch lab get to force me to add exceptions and pipelining... whee. Just when I thought I had spare time...

I left Friday afternoon and returned this evening... yet it seemed to have lasted but five minutes. I saw many friends from TJ whom I spent time with this past summer, a few I haven't seen in years, and met a few new folks.
Though seeing many friends was great, I went down pretty much for the sole purpose of seeing Catherine. The trip was much anticipated... but it turned out to be more than I could have hoped for. Its not like we spent a month in Eurpoe. Shit, it wasn't even Myrtle Beach. It was 3 days with her, which is all that really mattered.
I pose but one question: Is it possible to fall in love for the first time more than once?

For those of you who don't already know, I visted Virginia Tech this weekend to see Catherine (and incidentally a few other TJ friends).

To VT:
670 miles
10 hours
door to door
7 hours of it was in the rain

From VT:
600 miles
9 hours
door to door
No rain, and I figured out how to make the trip a little quicker than the way I came down.

Its Friday. Octoberbreak is upon us. I'M OUTTA HERE.

Dude, the stir fry bar at Cary has tofu. Yes, tofu.
WTF???? TOFU IS UNAMERICAN. Wait, so is thinking. Obviously they are appealing to all the Asian students living at Cary. Hey, I'm not complaining, I like tofu stir fry.

And 5 days till I get to see Catherine. :-)

Haha... the CPU is nearing full funtionality. The day is mine.

$#&@#&)(!#(&&(!@$!#@!&
I HATE CADENCE VIRTUOSO VHDL TOOLBOX. I want to find the asshole who wrote the fucking schematic parser and kick his ass.